Fix body language

Aspies and dating?

What would be a good way for a normally introverted guy with Asperger's, age 27, to meet women who are like/would get along with him? I'm thinking dating sites would be best because it takes body language and emotional recognition out of the equation. I even found a couple sites devoted to Aspies, but they are both poorly made, with few members world wide, and no means of narrowing searches. Any ideas or advice would be appreciated.

Public Comments

1. I believe we have some things in common. As Aspies, we have a general sense that "the world is passing us by." The world is passing us by in many instances. Relationships, education, career objectives/goals/employment. The world has not made the proper accommodations for our people. And we are worse off for it. In a dream world, we would have the essentials according to Maslow's Heirarchy, but too often, people do not have the essential skills to provide us with the tools (for instance in the maturation process/growing up) necessary to pursue our many common interests as human beings. The first problem is with family, as many of our families are generally not supportive of our endeavors. But I digress. We need basic and fundamental desires to be fulfilled in this life, to put it simply. We need certainty that our needs will be fulfilled, whether it is need of shelter, need of food, or something not quite as basic, a need for intimacy/friendship. But the world has left us behind in all of these instances. We have a hard time getting jobs, some of us find the social aspect of education to be an insurmountable foe, making friends never came easy, and even more difficult was finding love. So what is a man, or woman, to do? Many of us were not blessed with the best looks, or we would have found someone long ago. So we, unfortunately in most cases, lower our standards. Education in intimate relationships has grown stagnant. Intellectuals and doctors alike are stumped with this quandary. What is a man to do? It isn't always so easy to just go ask a girl out... well it might be easy, getting her to say "yes" is another story altogether. But there is a minority (especially in AS sufferers) who find true love to be a goal which is oftentimes unreachable. But to get to my point. There is a harsh reality that you have to face, as well as I do, that there may not be anyone out there for you. Sorry to break it to you, but the monks have been living celibate lives for hundreds of years now. One more time I will pose the question, "What is a man to do?" There are many options. Go to college(or go back) and try meeting someone that way. Go to the bars. Get on the internet dating sites. Walk around the mall and look for women who aren't wearing rings. Go to the book store and go to the section that you are well versed in (for me it would be numismatics) and try to meet a girl with a similar interest. Spark up a conversation and share with her your extensive knowledge in the field. Some girls can't resist intelligence, something Aspies are blessed with. ^^^ Those are a few options. How many are viable? Well, that's arguable, and trite at that. But let's face it. What is the general rule of thumb in finding true love for those of us "left behind"? People now, numbering in the millions, are turning to dating websites. Which sure seems to be a viable option. But there is a fundamental concern that I have with this method which I will use the next few lines to express. The Problem With Dating Sites Once we have come to the conclusion that we are not going to be with our ideal mate, to some extent, we have to settle. Now how much are you going to settle is the question. Instead of being with a supermodel most guys settle on an attractive woman, though she is not an actress, which he would have preferred. So did he settle? To an extent yes. But in reality? Probably not. But then we get to dating sites. In reality these are the people who for one reason or another never found anyone. And it is more than likely due to what one answerer referred to as "the looks department". Most of us have an inflated sense of self-worth, to an extent we are self-centered, and sometimes rather selfish. But when we get to a point of desperation, we will try anything. So is there success in dating site hookups? Yes. Though I don't know how prominent these examples are. But what is the gist of my argument? Almost everyone to some extent settles. But some settle more than others. When we get into the internet dating game, we find a disproportionate number of people who feel like they are settling on someone, or they are just that ignorant and don't realize it. And now the grand finale... The point I've been trying to get to the whole time now. How would you feel settling on a woman who is not the best looking, not the most physically fit, and worst of all, not even one with that great of a temperament? But the worst part of it all, is she thinks she's settled on you! Not great for lasting relationships. Basically you think you settled on her, but she thinks the exact same thing about you! What are the chances of that lasting? So what is a man to do, indeed.