Fix body language - I have social problems...this is getting depressing. Help.?

I have social problems...this is getting depressing. Help.?

I've been working hard to fix my social problems. Posture, the way i talk and carry myself, body language, all that crap. I've been approaching strangers to get over fear of approach and rejection. I feel like i've changed alot. And by the way I'm not ugly or smelly or anything. But...why do i still freeze up...when talking to a stranger. I mean..i could have things to say MEMORIZED and when i find myself in a situation with a stranger...just NOTHING comes out. Even if they begin! there's nothing in my head that i could say, even memorized things disappear...and i have nothing to say even with acquaintances, so i have no comebacks to anything people say. (so i got made fun of alot my whole life) And don't tell me it's ok because i want to change this about myself, and i know i can. And it's not ok because without the ability to talk, how the hell do you make friends/girlfriends/etc? It's a necessary skill, and the lack of it has been making my life hell, and i'm already 19.

Public Comments

Therapy could definitely help, only talking about it and finding ways to deal or work around it will help. Social anxiety is not uncommon but you should not have to live with it at this level.
You can't force yourself to be something you're not. I'm telling you this from experience. You can fix all the outer problems but it's going to take a great deal of time to fix the inner you. I use to be really quiet, before I got this job (HR) It takes time, you can't be Rachel Ray from one day to another. I've been in this position for two years now, and I'm still learning to be more open. Be patient, it will come naturally. GOOD LUCK!
My brother is going through that exact same thing. The only thing I can suggest, is get out. Go places. Join groups!!!! I was like you a while ago, I'm only 15, but still. I felt like I didn't have any friends, I felt like no one liked me. See, you don't have to change yourself to meet new people or good people. You just have to change the place you're at. Go somewhere new, where no one knows you!!!! It'll be fun. Maybe people are intimidated by you or jealous of you. I mean you said you weren't ugly or anything. I think you are a good person, you are God's child. He loves you even when you don't love him. Get in church, try something. Don't do something crazy like go gay. Don't go up to strangers. You can't expect strangers to talk to you like you guys have known eachother forever. that's probably what's discouraging you. Remember God loves you. Give your life to him and watch what he can and will do with it. GOD LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you want, I'll be your friend. My email address is c4j23@yahoo.com!! You don't have to!!! =) God Bless you!!!!!!!
I'm sort of an anti-social myself. I get major anxieties talking to new people. I have even tried to memorize things to say, but it seems like anytime I actually try to say something it comes out wrong and usually makes me sound like some self-centered twit. When I realize what I've just said my face turns really red. It's really embarrasing, and frustrating. I'm a pretty good looking person as well and I do have some close friends. But most are from early on in life and I don't have any friends that live near me, which is tough. I'm 29, but did have these issues as early as high school. My suggestion is to join a club (I know it might sound lame) or organization involving something you enjoy. Make sure other members are your similar age. It will feel awkward at first but stick through it. The more time that passes, the more comfortable you will be. I know it's hard and I don't even take my own advice because I'm too much of a skeptic. Good luck and if you can't do what I've suggested, see a good therapist who can help you with ideas and solutions.
Look first of all you have a long life of head to go, I have the same problem, and i just found that out last year when i enroll in school, it bother the hect out me, so what been doing is writing thing down, practing giving speeches ,reading really help, it develops your vocabulary better, I'm late in my age but you should be very glad that you found this out at your age. something else check yourself and see if there have been some sort of abuse in your life, if so seek counseling right away don't put off, sometime counseling will get to the root of the problem OK, good luck to you, keep trying you will eventually open up, don't give up GOOD LUCK!!!!
i feel like you all the time. im always trying to imrpove myself. change little things. and just go up to someone and expect that overnight ill be able 2 talk 2 ppl right away. the best thing 2 do is be you, do what you want to do, act out however u want, and look at everything as a step FORWARD. because it always is. the fact that ur trying to imrpove this social phobia, is a step forward. the fact that u got the nerve 2 go up to someone and just even think to start talking, IS a step forward. i kno its hard to say to urself... most socially retarded.. sorry lmao but ill admit, i am one...anyway, socially retarded ppl are PESSIMISTS. we like to pick and pull at every asshole remark we might make, every look, action, thing we do, that seems like it might be wrong. FUCK THAT. lol . its the truth. do you like haters? i dont. fuck haters, they just wanna bring u down. its not ur job to be one. dont hate urself. love urself and what u do. we socially retarded ppl also often have low self esteems. work o nthat a bit, kno that hey im not an asshole, and i am not a hater. there will be a shitload of ppl in life who will hate u. its there job. its not urs. forget that, move on and dont be a PESSIMIST. try to be positive. ... at the same time tho, i try rly hard sometimes to be soooo positive, and than like.. i feel like im not being true to myself, since im so used to being a pessimist, and i fall apart. dont do that. be positive, just enough so, and content with urself and go... hey, anything i do, whatever happens, i cant lose. i dunno if i helped. i am with u in the uest to be less socially retarded it sucks. cause past the shyness im a kick ass person. im sure u are too. hope i helped in some way.. lmao... peace, good luck ;)
imagine when you meet some one ..what they are trying to hide? u feel like that coz u think they r better than you? u just see what is good on them and u see what is bad on u! try to look the other way around..after some times will help little! try to lessen ..stop trying to talk..only f u feel that u have some thing to say! that's all and good lock!
You seem to want to change your present situation thru having tried and learned the hard way how to act properly in a social context. Up to a certain point it may be good to have tried and learned various tricks about how to act in an acceptable way, even about how one might become more smart, but then you would just be "a good actor", and people would more or less clearly detect your constructed behavior. Whether they would accept it or not, we can never say for sure. Someone might even take a chance with you, and then you might secretly giggle in your own soul and silently shout "yes, that was good!" But what would be good is plain sincerity and simply trying and being together with some simple more or less unpretentious people, just accepting some eye-contact with them, silently being in the nearby of some people who do not even seem to mind about your being there so near and so silent. All you would have to show would be plain simplicity and just being there willing to participate where company is, where things are likely to happen. You might just try and be there, and be silent. Sooner or later someone might come nearer and ask you something. If they have seen you before, they might even comment wondering why you are there not speaking. Then you might try and explain about some difficulty of yours as good as you can. Thus you might try and go out and daringly intrude, and so spend some of your free time among people who love company and enjoy themselves and laugh a lot and can make you laugh, and who might even make you healthily laugh at yourself until you get tears in your eyes, and there you do not even have to intelligently talk to others from the very beginning, but you might just wait and let them come and talk to you, and then, later on, when you would feel the moment to be right, you might even go and try and daringly flirt with somebody, with somebody seemingly wanting and trying to establish some contact with you and who gave you a delicious smile. Good glowing luck to you!