Fix body language

wait or ask?

I never knew that I become bisexual I never thought of women in a sexual way before I meet my best friend Jane 7 years ago. It was a big shock to me that she is my only first crush I ever had in my life, yeah I had pervious boyfriends in high school but I used them to get over her, I didn’t like the fact I was doing that to them so I broke up with them. I only told my older sister and my friend Josh too. They are supportive to me and try to help me when I ask questions. I told Jane about how I felt about her in our senior year she didn’t say much but was shocked. After we graduated I was busy with work and junior college same with her too, we are good close friends and we hang out with each other and others too. I still like her and I was always reading her body language to see if she likes me back. What I read was mixed singulars she is a touchy person who leans on me some times. Last year she told me some guy in her class was asking her out I sat and listen but inside I felt a bit jealous I ask her what she said to him and she said “no I am not ready for a relationship at the moment.” after that conversation the next day I was trying to recall that day I told how I felt about her, I was trying to remember what she said about it. But nothing Jane didn’t say anything about it So I was struggling to find out how I can talk to her I was tying to speak to her on the phone or face to face about it but I freaked out, I even wrote a letter to her about it but it she didn’t received it cause she didn’t respond. I wanted to ask her “why did you seem okay when I told you how I felt about you?”, A year past and my friend Josh told me to step up and ask her, but I still couldn’t tell her, so in May I ask her to go online the chat room to have a chat, and so she did, I told her everything of myself and how I didn’t like myself for who I am, and when I ask her why did you seem okay when I told you how I felt about you?”, A year past and my friend Josh told me to step up and ask her, but I still couldn’t tell her, so in May I ask her to go online the chat room to have a chat, and so she did, I told her everything of myself and how I didn’t like myself for who I am, and when I ask her “why did you seem okay when I told you how I felt about you?” she said “I am fine with it before I was shock but now I am fine not that I like you in that way cause I don’t know what gender I like but yeah I am fine with it” I was glad to hear her reply and I went on explaining myself to her, I was kind of relief of getting it off my chest. In July I knew I had to move on but then I knew it will be hard for me to get over her cause I liked her for so long but I had to. We still hang out as good friends and with our other friends too. On the 4th of July I went over to my sister’s house party, she told me that her room mate Tiffany was trying to hook me up with her brother Mike. I talk to him and played pool he is cute and nice but I didn’t feel any sparks between us nothing happen at all between us but it was nice of a friend to try to hook me up with someone it was funny and flattering. Next week I told Jane about it on online chat room Jane’s response was unbelievable. She replies “I don’t know if I should be happy or pissed” I reply “what?” Jane “I guess time will tell for the both of us” I reply “what?” Jane “what do you mean what?” she then said she had to go to bed and I said good night, she logged off. I couldn’t sleep that night and I ask myself “was she jealous?” I send her an email and ask her if she was jealous. I was pissed that day because now she was making me confused and was messing with my feelings. She wrote me back and said “I don’t think its right to force someone into a relationship (even if you to did not talk much.) I don’t no if that’s how you saw it or not, but that is what I saw when you told me about it. And I did feel jealousy yes, I felt the same when you were going out with your last two boyfriends.” She explained that she might feel left out if I have a boyfriend and she is afraid that we won’t be close anymore. I didn’t know what to say but I told her that I can’t respect myself and I am not ready for a relationship. Not with the same sex (I didn’t tell her that), I might be moving next year to a different state with my parents and she said she is not happy about that either, but I have no choice because I don’t have enough money to have my own place. I want to clear my head and to help myself to respect myself she said that “people tell me that moving away is not going to help. But if that’s what you think you got to do it then do it and let no one stop you it may let you unwind a little”. She is right about that but I have no choice, if I did I wil I will stay. I told her I didn’t like the fact how she might like me back because I didn’t want her to be mixed with my depression of not respecting myself. Jane didn’t say anything, but I was thinking she might just didn’t want to be the third wheel as I was going out with someone and pay addition to some guy than her. But I will never do that. I do want her and I know I will never forget about her either because I think of her everyday. Now today we are still talking and hang out too. I don’t know what to do now I want to be with her but I can’t respect myself, and I want to know if she does like me back more than a friend. But I cant step up to talk to her face to face I get all red and I studier so I think it be right to write her a note. what do you think I should do?

Public Comments

1. How long and boring? Do you really expect any one to read all this garbage? Fix up.
2. I thinks she like you. Express your feelings in the way that makes u comfortable, if that's a letter, than do it. You seem like a real sweet, nice,caring person. You are going to be a good catch for the right person who gets you.
3. god! u should write a novel and it'll sell fast. lol. sory. just ASK. if u do, then u'll get the answer straight from them rather than u just sit around and wait for answers to come ur way =)
4. Hetero relations and marriage is a social obligation and necessity. Same sex- homo or lesbian canot be substitute for hetero relations. but there is no harm in extra marital homo relations in addition. However it depends on moral and social values cherished by you.
5. I don't know. But follow your heart. And I hope it will set everything right.
6. send her a email and just ask her to answer you honestly, and if she is a true friend she will do that. send her this copy and paste Jane i need to know something as its messing with my head,i need to know to if you like me more than a friend. if you do then i really need to know.and this is the last time ill ask but just need a honest answer. if you don't then that fine we will stay good friends but i don't understand why you got jealous of the other guys, (add any bits you want to as you know the situation better than we do) if she does like you as a friend why is she getting jealous about you with other guys? eventually you will meet someone and she may be jealous about it but if she answers you and says your just friends then she cant expect you to put ya life on hold because she is jealous. another possibility is that she does like you more than a friend but she not ready to tell the world,(come out) but she should have the decency of at least letting you know where you stand, tell her you need to know for sure what are feelign are so you can move on or do somthing about it. you cant put ya life on hold for this girl if she only likes you as a friend. also just thought ask her if she is confused about her feelings. you have to finally ask her other wise you will just be putting your self through hell even longer. good luck add me if need to talk abit more or need more advice hlvinson@hotmail.com