Fix body language - How do I non-directly find out if the guy Im dating is a top/bttom or ver?? without directly asking him??

How do I non-directly find out if the guy Im dating is a top/bttom or ver?? without directly asking him??

I am a gay man andI really think this guy I'm dating is a keeper and am no way looking to jump into bed with him, I see alot more in him than just sex. I prefer to wait. However if I'm going to wait, I want to be sure that I am going to be sexually compatible with this person. I value strong healthy sexual intamacy in a relationship. I just want to make sure I'm not barking up the wrong tree. He opens the door for me when we go on dates and buys my flowers but then seems to be passive with his body language when we cuddle. I myself am a bottom, I have topped before many times but its rare that I have an urge too anymore. I really hope he is a top or at least vers-top. HOW DO I find out in the most discreate way????? I told him I want to wait before we have sex so I would look like a total fool if I ask him.. what should I do?

Public Comments

I think that you have maybe already answered your own questions because you are not getting the kind of sexual energy vibe that you want from 'this guy'. I think you should just be friends, that way if he can't stand it, he will show his 'top' side if it exists. However, since that sounds like an episode of 'I Love Lucy', wouldn't it be better to just ask him about it and to talk it out (or act it out)? Good Luck!
Ask someone he's dated before you. Wait until you're both ready for a sexual relationship and just ask straight out. Honestly, I've never been insulted if someone asks me right out if I like or dislike something in paticular. I have always tended to be the sexual agressor in a relationship, but I am always open for the other person to take that off my shoulders.
If you expect to have a future with someone, one would think that you would be able to at least navigate an open and honest conversation about sex... so you ask him ( yes... directly ) just like you asked us total and complete strangers that you ironically feel more comfortable around... I think it's time to take a growth pill and take care of your business... honesty, truth and openness is what's going to make or break any relationship you have...
Tell him you are going to cook breakfast for him. Ask him if he likes eggs. If he does, then inquire how he wants them cooked. If he says sunny side up, then he is a top. If he asks for over easy (or hard), then he is a bottom. If however, he asks that they be scrambled, then he is totally confused and you probably have a sick puppy. Good luck.
Ask him. Just because you're waiting to have sex doesn't mean you two can't talk about it. It could just be an off-the-cuff conversation. But the best way is to get it straight from him (that's part of the honesty in a relationship.) Good luck.
Why be discrete about sexual preferences? Sex is very important to gay men and their relationship. If he's a keeper, does it matter if he's a top or bottom? If not, just ask. Just ask. Be open. Be honest Talk about sex, all kinds of sex. Talk about likes and dislikes, things you want to explore and things that are just out of the question. Communication is the number one problem in all relationships, especially when you tip toe around important topics. Here's what you may want to say. "I know we've been dating a bit and are waiting to 'go for it,' so to speak, but maybe it would be important that we talk about sex first." If he's open to talking about it...ask him what he likes most in bed. What are some of the things that makes him feel special, sexual, horny, etc. You'll know what word to you since you know him better than I. Wait for answer and continue... "Are you a versatile in bed or prefer a specific position." Giggle a little bit and continue...LOL Giggling is an option. "I'm a bottom and I hope that's okay. I mean I've topped before, it's just my preference to be a bottom." TALK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!! Peace
If you are going to have any sort of relationship with this person communication is a key factor in success. The most effective and honest way to find out is by having a conversation. I personally don't understand how it is difficult to talk to someone but you have already made out??
Best advise has already been given. Bring it up in conversation, plainly, matter of factly if needed, and just ask. Would you rather have that awkward moment, when you guys decide to go for the gusto, and suddenly find out then that you're both bottom only?? Talk about a buzz kill!!!!! You need to be open, honest, and communicate fully. And in my opinion, no, you would NOT look like a total fool. You would look like a sensible, open, and honest potential partner for being up front AND mature and confident enough to initiate the discussion in the first place. Good Luck. And remember, sometimes, as we grow and mature, our tastes and prefences change some.